How to Teach Children Gratitude
Teaching your children gratitude involves three things: modeling, encouraging and reinforcement. For this, there’s an easy three-step process you can take your child through, and the best thing about this method is that it can happen naturally as you engage with your child!
Model it
Do you ever notice how much your kids absorb what they see you doing or saying? And do you have those moments where you hear or see your kid saying/doing something just like you? Wouldn’t it be great if gratitude were one of those things? Tell your child how grateful you feel when you share special moments together or thank your partner in front of your child when your partner does something special for you. The more that monkey sees, the more monkey does.
Encourage it
Beyond just saying “thank you” and/or asking your child to parrot your decorum, you can take your child through the process of actually being cognizant of what they’re thankful for and why. Say you’re putting your little one to bed. The first thing would be to engage in a discussion about what they appreciated about their day. You guide them with questions about why they enjoyed going to the park or what they liked about visiting grandma and grandpa, for example. After you’ve established the “what” and the “why,” you can talk to them about how they might savor those moments, or even brainstorming ideas on how they might show gratitude. Finally, this may lead to some practical action, like crafting a thank you card together, or perhaps them creating a drawing of a special moment. By being intentional about an everyday conversation you would have with your child, you empower and equip them to thoughtfully grow into being a more grateful person that will take the initiative to act on their gratitude.
Reinforce it
Whenever you are helping your child learn something, it helps to reinforce the positive behaviors you see. The same applies to teaching your child gratitude--reinforce your child’s efforts. When you “catch” your child showing gratitude, let your child know how special that feels to you.
As you can see, you don’t really have to go out of your way in order to teach gratitude. As a grownup, and as someone who has adapted to the social norms of society, you naturally, and without thinking, express gratitude as an everyday norm. Just being a little more intentional with your thankful behavior when your kids are around will go a long way in teaching them to be grateful people.
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Writer Bio: Dr. Annie Hsueh, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist (PSY25708) in the Los Angeles area. She has dedicated her career towards helping couples develop more joy and connection in their relationships. She is based in Torrance, CA and sees clients throughout California via secure online therapy platforms.