How to find the right couple therapist?
In addition to the strategies discussed in my blog on "How to find the right therapist?", in looking for a couple therapist, keep the following in mind:
1. A good couple therapist looks at your relationship as the client.
Yes, that's right. Your relationship. Not just you, or your partner. Couple therapy is different from individual therapy, in which the therapist's alliance is with just one person. A good couple therapist can help the couple find the best outcome for their unique relationship. When I work with couples, I strive to help both partners feel understood by me, but more importantly, I work on helping each partner to understand one another and their couple relationship dynamics. Remember, in order to change your relationship for the better, it is important to first understand what is getting you and your partner stuck. I guide my clients in understanding their current relationship patterns and how they can start to make changes to deepen their connection with one another.
2. What type of couple therapy are you interested in?
Not all therapists have specialized training in couple therapy, and not all forms of couple therapy are evidence-based. If you have read books or online resources on the topic of couple relationships, what types of theories on couple relationship resonate with you?
Having a sense of the specific type of couple therapy you are looking for can help you narrow your search and find your best fit therapist. For example, if you are interested in working with a couples therapist who specializes in providing Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), you can check out the ICEEFT Directory, where you can find therapists with EFT training from all over the world. You can also narrow your search by finding local EFT communities. For example, if you live in Northern California, you can check out find a therapist via the NCCEFT Member Directory, and if you live in the Los Angeles area, you can check out the EFTCLA Directory.
If you don’t have prior knowledge about the type of therapy you are looking for, that is also totally okay, too. And that brings me to my next point…
3. How do you feel when you talk to the therapist?
Use your heart and your gut as you consult with the therapist about working together. And check in with your partner. You both need to feel like this is a therapist who will get you and be able to guide you. And you both need to be willing to do the hard work both in and outside of sessions for psychotherapy to work.
I hope these ideas help you as you consider couple counseling. Many couples get stuck in the same defeating patterns and often wait years until they seek help. Don't wait if you're having struggles in your relationship. Couple therapy can provide a way to help you get unstuck and work towards a healthier and happier relationship.
I would be honored to be of support…
I am a licensed clinical psychologist who has dedicated my career towards helping couples. I use Emotionally Focused Therapy to help couples develop more fulfilling and satisfying relationships. If I can be of support to you, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me for a complimentary consultation.
Writer Bio: Dr. Annie Hsueh, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist (PSY25708) in the South Bay Los Angeles area. She has dedicated her career towards helping couples develop more joy and connection in their relationships. She sees clients in Torrance, Redondo Beach, Palos Verdes, and throughout California via secure online therapy platforms.
Image Disclaimer: Stock photos used. Posed by models.
Revised on 10/16/2023