How to keep your relationship strong while planning for a wedding

Congratulations! You’re engaged! This is one of the most exciting times for a couple. The sheer bliss of the moment plays out again and again over many a celebration as family and friends receive the wonderful news. But then what? Time to get down to work. And that’s when engagement can be stressful; it can even be a time where your relationship is tested and stretched. But, as with all things in a relationship, getting through wedding planning doesn’t have to be all business, stress, and work. It can be a time for you to grow as a couple. Here are some ways to keep your relationship strong through all the excel sheets, phone calls, and the seemingly never-ending discussions about roses vs. peonies.

1. Keep yourselves grounded

This is perhaps the most important thing and it’s not so much something you do, as it is something you remind yourself and each other of. When the chips are down and the going gets tough, when the vendors are late, or when the police raid your venue (true story! Not mine…), you can always fall back on the main thing. And what is that main thing for you? What is it that defines your relationship? Why are you getting married in the first place? Keeping in mind the most important thing (your relationship) and the most important person (your soon to be spouse) will help keep things in perspective. The ceremony and reception, while important is not really what your big day is about. It’s not so much about the actual wedding that you’re celebrating. It’s you. Your family and friends, while they may enjoy getting down on the dance floor, are really there for and because of you. Keep that in mind as you navigate through the logistics of all that is to come.

2. Have a vision

Having a general idea of the tone you want your wedding to have can be helpful in guiding a lot of your planning and even help you answer some of the logistical questions that come up. Do you want your wedding to be more lighthearted or whimsical? Maybe you prefer for it to be more traditional. Do you want a large wedding with all of the trappings? Maybe you decide on something smaller, more intimate. Have a discussion on what you both see as your wedding day.

3. Divide and conquer

One of the things you may be learning about you and your partner are your areas of strengths and weaknesses. Perhaps you complement each other in that way. Well, you can take your individual strengths and assign different tasks to each other for the action plan. Does one of you have more of a green thumb? Maybe that’s the person in charge of all things floral. One of you into photography? That person can be the one to search for the person who’ll be snapping the pictures on your big day. Of course you’re going to have a discussion about all things and neither of you will just make a decision on their own, but having someone take the lead in some of the tasks will make for a much easier and more efficient planning. And, somewhat related, if there are things that can be delegated out to a vendor or hired out, by all means, take advantage of the help! Finding the right vendors can mean all the difference.

4. Make it a game

It’s inevitable. You will run into the wall of banality when it comes to planning your wedding. Anything involving logistics of this magnitude will be bound to have moments of tedium. So, when that happens, or if there’s a task that sounds a bit too daunting, make it a game. True story, and this time, it is mine: My partner and I were long distance when we were engaged. When it came time to select a photographer, we bounced ideas back and forth, but couldn’t settle. After looking at what seemed endless amounts of websites and sample wedding photos, everything started to blur together. We decided to play a little game with it. We each picked out our favorite photographs from vendors we liked. One person would present to the other person the pictures without letting the other know who the photographer was. The person on the receiving end would rank the pictures in order of their preference. And in that way, we ended up finding out that we both liked the same photographs from the same photographer, and for the same reasons! Not only was it fun, we were able to bond over the activity.

5. Do something else

No matter how much fun you’re able to make it, it’s still a healthy thing to take breaks. A single party or a single event does not define your relationship. Make sure your conversations are not likewise, singularly taken over by wedding talk. Go out and watch a movie, have a dinner, and do things that you normally do together.  

Encouragement to you

You’re entering into one of the most thrilling seasons of your life with the person you love most. Like all big events though, this is just one step in your journey together (albeit a mighty big step!). And, with all milestones, big and small, it is important to keep your relationship as the center of it all, growing it and nurturing it. After all, it’s the reason you’re engaged in the first place.

If you are wanting additional support during this special time, don’t hesitate to reach out to us for a consultation or check out our resources page for recommendations on self-help resources.

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Image Disclaimer: Stock photos used. Posed by models.