Seven Tips for Maintaining your Relationship Health

There has been so much going on with the COVID-19 pandemic.  I’m thinking of you and wishing you are staying well, safe, and healthy.  On the blog today, I want to share some of my reflections and tips for keeping your relationship with your partner strong in the time of COVID-19 pandemic. 

1.  Check in with your partner regarding your schedule for the day/week.

Perhaps the biggest adjustment to quarantine life has to do with all of us learning how to navigate virtual lives. With schools being closed and a lot of changes with people’s work, it’s completely understandable that our lives are more stressful and frazzled. One thing to help combat the messiness of the big changes is coming up with a new normal routine.  While you don’t need to come up with a detailed new schedule (unless you want to!), it may be helpful to check in with your partner to come up with a new family schedule.  Think about how you will balance work and childcare responsibilities. When do you have important work meetings that can’t be interrupted?  When do your children have virtual events?  What days are you required to be on site at work?  Having a clear understanding of everyone’s schedule and nailing down the when’s and where’s will help immensely when it comes to keeping order.  Personally, I find checking in with my spouse briefly each morning to be really helpful. 

2.  Balancing “me” time and “us” time.

For a lot of people, working outside of the home used to provide a break from the routines at home.  If you are in quarantine with your partner, it may help to figure out how to balance time for each of you for self-care and time to spend together connecting.  Pay attention to your energy level and your needs and share them with your partner.  It may be difficult to find space and time for yourself if everyone in the house is around, but maybe you can set apart a specific place or time for yourself.  Make sure that you’re relaxing and doing things that you find enjoyable.

3.  Practice self-compassion.

This is a big one, and so needed right now.  Do you find yourself being more critical towards yourself or towards your partner?  When you experience difficult emotions, remind yourself to be gentle with yourself.  Maybe take a moment to reflect and acknowledge your emotions or take a self-compassion break. 

4.  Show empathy.

Compassion and kindness will also likely help your interactions with your partner.  During times of stress, people often get irritated more easily.  Try to give your partner the benefit of the doubt when you can.  When your partner is feeling stressed, see if you can listen to your partner and validate their feelings.  Empathy can often help people feel less alone and more connected; something we could use a little more of nowadays.

5.  Doubling down on things that usually help for de-stressing or for maintaining health:

Sleep: If there were a time to catch up on sleep, this might very well be it, especially if your new work schedule allows for it. Sleep in. Take a that afternoon nap that you’ve not taken in years.

Eating healthy: One of the biggest ways to relieve the boredom of staying indoors for some people is to eat. And while a treat here and there is great, we need to make sure we’re eating healthy and not indulging too much.  Take time to enjoy and savor balanced meals.  Be nourished.   

Exercise: Exercising is another crucial thing.  Even though gyms are closed, you can still maintain a decent exercise regimen at home.  There are lots of free workout tutorials or apps you can use.  Walks (while practicing physical distancing) are a great way to get out of the house.  

Deep breathing/grounding exercises: Even if it’s just a one-two minute break in between tasks, doing some slow breathing or other grounding exercises can help you regulate your emotions. 

Journaling: Consider journaling daily or once a week to check in with yourself on how you’re feeling.  Writing can help you organize your feelings and thoughts. 

While many of these practices feel like common sense (and they are), you’ll want to remember to check in with yourself to make sure you are really doing these things.

6.  Remember physical distancing does not need equate to social isolation.

Many are feeling isolated and lonely during these very difficult times.  You can remember though, that you’re not alone just because you’re physically distancing from people.  You can reach out to family and friends.  Many people are having virtual happy hours; there are watch parties; even virtual birthday parties.  Celebrating doesn’t have to end just because we’re all at home.

7.  Practice Kindness.

While it may be cliché to say “We’re all in this together,” in many ways, the world is united like no other time in recent history.  Now’s a great time to practice kindness.  Who are some people in your life that you can reach out to?  How can you be the best partner you can be for your partner?  Or, you might find a cause to contribute to.  And, if nothing else, just staying at home to help slow the spread is a kind act in of itself. You’re potentially saving someone else’s life just by staying put.

And there you have it.  Those are my top tips for keeping your relationship strong and healthy.  If you are interested in receiving support through professional counseling, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.

Writer Bio: Dr. Annie Hsueh, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist (PSY25708) in the Los Angeles area. She has dedicated her career towards helping couples develop more joy and connection in their relationships. She is based in Torrance, CA and sees clients throughout California via secure online therapy platforms.

Image Disclaimer: Stock photos used. Posed by models.