Tips for Finally Meeting Your Exercise Goal (And Growing Closer to Your Partner)
Happy New Year! As we wave goodbye to 2020 and usher in 2021, many of us are perhaps thinking of making that annual resolution to exercise and get healthier. But that’s just the thing, isn’t it? We make this resolution every year, to exercise, and every year, even if we get off to a great start, our exercise routine sputters, loses all steam, and then we’re back to square one. Why is that? Why can’t we motivate ourselves to keep going? What psychological tricks and tips are there to make exercising happen?
Well, the bad news is, when it comes to exercising, and especially when it comes to sustaining an exercise routine that will lead to healthy benefits and gains, there really is no Jedi mind trick that can work on one’s mind when one’s mind is adamantly against the idea. When motivation’s down, and the mind isn’t willing, we must instead, look to our bodies for the answer. That, and the age-old wisdom from Nike: Just do it! Or to put it another way, rather than just waiting for your motivation to increase, take action first—action leads to motivation, which can then lead to more action.
The Department of Health and Human Services recommends that adults do at least 150 minutes to 300 minutes a week of moderate-intensity aerobic exercise, or 75 minutes to 150 minutes a week of vigorous-intensity aerobic exercise a week to gain health benefits. That amounts to roughly 30 minutes a day where you’re able to raise that heartbeat. Keeping that up takes motivation and will. Motivation and will power many people don’t have and can’t seem to muster, no matter how hard they try.
If trying to talk yourself into exercising isn’t working, the actual hack behind the hack is that we go around the mind. We ignore even trying to trick it and bypass the mental grappling altogether. The hope here is that if we just make our bodies move, the benefits of the endorphins, the better sleep, and overall better mental and physical health will then do the “trickery” on the mind automatically. Except it’s not a trick. Our bodies (and minds) are wired to want more of the “good stuff.” Reaping the benefits of exercise will make it so that our brains crave more of the things like adrenaline rushes, better moods, and again, all of the other great feelings (both physically and emotionally) that come with exercise.
We often treat the mind and body as separate entities when really, they’re connected. So, when the brain isn’t listening, try getting the body to do all the talking. You’ll find that the brain will soon come around.
I get it though, how do we just do something when we’re already not doing it? If the solution to the “not being able to get off the couch” doesn’t really sound like a solution, but more of a copout answer, then perhaps enlisting the aid of your partner will do the trick.
There's that expression: two is better than one. While this is broadly used and applied, it can also extend to exercising with your partner.
While many people treat exercising as a thing done in isolation, with earbuds on, and the world shut out, those who've ever had a "workout buddy" can attest to the benefits of working out with someone. There’s something powerful about being “accountable” to someone else. It’s all well and good if we let ourselves down and skip a day, then two, then three… of exercise, but when someone else is expecting, depending on us to be a part of their own exercise regiment, then we’re more apt to rise to the call. Not only that, it’s more fun to exercise with someone else! And having fun, feeding your brain those endorphins of communal activity will help with the motivation.
But who should we enlist to be our workout partner? Our spotter? Our partner in crime in the journey to better health? Why not your romantic partner? There are many benefits to working out with your sig. other:
1) Not only will you benefit your physical health, it's been proven that exercising will boost your emotional health; something we can all use a little bit of these days.
2) Exercising with your partner can also help nurture your relationship. For example, you might find yourselves doing a brand new exercise routine together. Exploring brand new things with the comfort and safety of being with your partner can be quite the bonding experience.
3) You can also push each other and cheer each other on. You can remind yourself of how good it feels to keep your body moving and you can help each other prepare for your workouts (bonus tip: sometimes just engaging in preparation for your workout such as laying out your running shoes by the door ahead of time can also increase motivation for some people). For the more competitive types, you might even make a little competition out of it, with the winner getting a nice surprise from the other partner. The key though, is to keep it fun; keep it lighthearted and about mutual gains.
In doing exercise with your partner you kind of get many birds with one stone: your own individual health improves (both mentally and physically), and the health of your relationship also grows! It's win-win-win all around! Physical, emotional, and relationship connection gains!
So here’s to a healthier, better year than last. May your muscles grow, and your hearts be fuller and filled with love.
You might also like…
“Three Mental Health Habits You Can Change”
“How to Connect with Your Partner in One Minute, Five Minutes, or An Hour”
Writer Bio: Dr. Annie Hsueh, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist (PSY25708) in the Los Angeles area. She has dedicated her career towards helping couples develop more joy and connection in their relationships. She is based in Torrance, CA and sees clients throughout California via secure online therapy platforms.
Image Disclaimer: Stock photos used. Posed by models.